I chose the emoticon below b/c it made me smile. It was among a group of other ones which more closely mirror my current internal state. I appreciated the laugh.

In the last couple of days, I've looked back at different relationships in my life and realized at times that I've really been an asshole. I'd like to think more often than not it hasn't been the case, but with investigation I see more signs of it than I want to.

Regret has been rare in my life and some might even say, if they knew the things I regret versus others that I don't, I seem to have a rather weird sense of the regrettable. Regardless of whether that is true or no, what I wish I could take back remains the same.

It's interesting how, if you have something you did wrong removed far enough by time, it feels like you can't take it back. You also feel awkward saying anything to the people about it because, truthfully, everyone got on with their lives and moved on with the broken pieces left broken.

My list of regrets have always been few, but those that I have still weigh on my heart.

I'll put it out here now that at least one person I owe an apology frequents this site. Time has made it so that, like it or not, it is awkward to come to them and admit I am sorry for any suffering I've caused them. I don't want to rehash old wounds, but, in case they do read this:

I'm sorry for hurting you. If you need any closure beyond that, I don't know if I can give it, but I'd be willing to try. If all that was needed was for me to answer a question... anything.

Please, believe me you beautiful, wonderful person out there when I say that I realize nothing can ever be quite the same between us again. If it could, then I suppose this pain wouldn't accompany my admission as profoundly as it does. I owe you this much, that I give you these words saying how sorry I am.

I have fond memories of you and, I hope that with this entry, should you read it, you will find a few of your own regarding me as well. And maybe that's the point of this, redeeming what good might be salvaged from the past so it can be loved in its own right.

So... yeah... like I said, AWKWARD feeling... But, I suppose I've accomplished something... anyone know any good knock knock jokes or something I could throw in here to kind of lighten things up? Lol, yeah, me neither.

I KNOW! Just look at the emoticon: hilarious .

To whom it may concern, take care and God bless!